how to replace an abs control module and can it be done without the dealer.

The abs module isn't going to fix all of those issues! As far as the brake and abs lights...maybe. Sounds like a voltage problem to me....kinda like an ignition switch or intermittent open circuit...some-where.! Have another mechanic check this out. Doesn't have to be at a dealer!!

GET THE RIGHT CODE and look it up on the internet. It may not be your ABS pump (ECU in the passenger compartment or pump under the hood. Both are on the passenger side) control you need to replace. If you are getting a C0210 code (right Rear speed Sensor Circuit (or left, diff code)then the problem is most likely in the wiring harness directly in front of the speed sensor. This harness, part # 89516-06039, about $45.00 (connector especially)is both inside and outside of the vehicle and subjected to the elements. The speed senor is pressed into the wheel hub so it is unlikely to get "fouled" as the dealership would like you to believe. Hub and sensor...$8-900.00. The magic word in the code is "CIRCUIT".