where is starter relay on 91 toyota 4runner

From the pics I find the relay is on the side of the motor. here is the pic that might give you an idea. http://www.4crawler.com/4x4/CheapTricks/Images/starter_relay_location.jpg But from your description I dont believe that is your problem. I believe you have a short to power in your dash somewhere or maybe the ignition switch. the starter relay has nothing to do with the dash lights. It just sends the signal to the starter when the key is turned to the start position. Try doing whats called a jiggle test. When the lights all stay on try shaking what ever wire harness you can reaxh under the dash. If the lights flicker or go out then u know its somewhere in the wiring.