I have 12v down to the starter selanoid from the battery,I can't find realy.

There is not a starter relay, I just looked a wiring diagram on Alldata it is very easy to follow. The information is year make and model specific, covering repair procedures, torque specifications, fluid capacities and specifications, service bulletins, component locations, wiring diagrams ect.... Alldata is very easy to navigate http://bit.ly/AllData_Repair_Manuals_Online