Wrench light comes on at start-up idle. Car will stall when wrench light come on

What is your question?

The transmission is sometimes in what seems like a default mode and shifts 1-3 only using those 2 gears than sometimes doesnt shift outta high gear or just slips out of gear. I tried the re-learn process as it almost seems like the throttle control and trans are completely out of whack but no change. The software has never been updated on the pcm and tcm have an appt with dealership anyone have any ideas of what im lookin' at? I am already anticipating a diag of r&r transmission but I am hoping it could be something else.