I have 1997 4 runner that want with key I thought it was the starter relay

check for battery voltage at terminals 1 & 5 of the relay, and ground at terminal 2. I'm going to assume terminal 3 is ok since you get get it to work by jumping it. If terminal 2 isn't grounded, repair the ground. If terminal 1 doesn't have 12+ volts, check the 7.5a STA fuse. If the fuse is good, check at the clutch or park/neutral switch. If the fuse has no pwer going to it, check terminal 8 of the ignition switch. If terminal 5 doesn;t have 12+ volts, check the 100a alt fuse & the 40a AM1 fuse.