Lol. Well tell me what I f'd up... so I was installing a trailer brake and everything went to crap. I have no headlights, taillights, brakelights, the info thing says service airbags, service rear suspension, and it won't start now...

I'm sorry. Being as none of us here were there with you doing it, it's impossible to know what went wrong. Recommendation would be to restore the vehicle to factory condition and recheck -- then retrace steps. Use this link to find some shops near you that can help with your concern: www.repairpal.com/repair-shops