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Honda Pilot Questions

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My car suddenly won't start. Installed a new battery but the problem persists. Have cleaned terminals and relay. It also lights up the "P" and "D" when the key is turned. This is something new. The starter solenoid is not making any click, so it appears that there is no power to the starter. Any suggestions?
Seems like the switch under the on/off button is broken. Can we fix this ourselves, or is it a dealer issue?
Possible problems
It seems to be related to the rear heat being on. Someone on the internet showed that the sound went away when rear heat was off. It has not been cold enough for me to try it this fall. Also When the engine warms up you can put the fan on low and then gradually increase fan speed.
It displayed once last week. Since the car has 40,000 miles, I changed the trany fluid. And it came on today
And which is more reliable? I just read on a Toyota forum, that to change the water pump and fix the chain on the highlander (if it ever breaks), the engine has to be lifted up. This translates to thousands of dollars... I am considering a new car purchase and I am between these two, and maybe a Subaru Outback. Would like an SUV that is reliable, and with easy access to the engine, for repairs. When I think about the Pilot, these are my concerns: The 3 piston shut off at highway speeds, the start and stop, and the 9 speed transmission. Are these reliable technologies? Heard that the Acura TLX had transmission problems years back. I usually keep my cars for 200,000 plus miles, and would like to have something reliable and easy to work on. Which of these three vehicles would you say meets my criteria the best? I am really between the 2015 or 2016 Highlander and the 2016 Pilot. This is a new redesign for the 2016 Pilot, which is another concern. Should I wait for the 2017 Pilot, after the kinks have been worked out? Any feedback concerning the Pilot reliability throughout the years, and which ones of these vehicles is more trouble free. Thank you.
Last week on Friday I noticed my Check Engine light on as well as the VTM-4 light.
I check the manual. I redid the gas cap. After several drives and refilling the tank, they went off. I drove the entire weekend with no problem. Tuesday mornig this week they are both on again. I replaced the gas cap, no change. I had the oil changed, no change. I even diconnected the battery. The lights were off for about 30 minutes and are now back on. Thursday evening I noticed the "side airbag off" light is now staying on. The car has some other problems such as the doors no longer look/unlock by the electric buttons and must be done manually.
The car seems to be driving fine. We do not have money for repairs and must have this car running. Is this something I can fix light a sensor replaced or something?
I recently had my cat and o2 sensor on bank1 replaced because it was running to lean but now it's to rich also had plugs replaced any ideas what to do next honda wants an hourly diagnosis to open up Engine and would not even give an estimate on how long diagnosis may take 2-15 hours maby they told me and Napa is clueless

The windows are slowing down, more and more, and after I've had them greased up and check by a mechanic. But I don't know if it's just an oil thing.
Owners manual indicates that voice control is capable for climate control features. In reality only voice control for phone is available. Manual specifically does NOT have an asterisk indicating that voice control for climate control feature is not available on certain models so it should be functional and show on the display menu as well.
The transmission appears to be working fine except for this flashing "D". Any recommendations?
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