2007 Acura RDX Questions

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I have a 2007 RDX with 58,000 miles. Recently, while driving on the highway, the car went left and I couldn't correct it with the steering wheel and crashed head-on into a barrier at 65 mph. Upon inspection, the adjuster found that one of my ball joints was completely worn down and that would have caused my car to go left.

I have a few questions...
1) What is the lifespan of a ball joint supposed to be? Is it by years, miles driven? Is it possible my ball joint was faulty if it was worn down enough to cause an accident at only 58,000 miles.
2) 4 days prior to my accident I had my tires rotated and alligned, brake fluid and brake lines done, oil change, filters changed, and antifreeze recharged. This was done at a Firestone. They also do a "courtesy check" and let you know if there is any other work needed. Are the ball joints something that they would have/ should have seen while working on my car? In your opinion, should they have warned me about it?
Acura says bulb must be replaced from behind instrument
panel. How is this replacement accomplished. Is it easy
enough to be done by me?
I went to a Jiffy Lube for an oil change and they did a visual inpsection and told me my pads had minimal wear, but overall look in good conditions. After my oil change, I no longer got the warning message. Would the problem be with the brakes or the brake fluid level?
I need to aid auto transmission fluid. The owners manual
says the filler is adjacent to the brake fluid reservoir,
but upon inspection, could not find filler anywhere in the
engine compartment. Where is it hidden?
the "check transmission light" was lit and checked with honda dealer; their response was the "range switch code" was enabled and was in need of repair.
My husband changed oil and the manual does not say how to reset service light, does anyone know how to do this.
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